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»»Merkin CIVIL WAR

Merkin CIVIL WAR

15
By on Richmond, VA
  • When: 08/8/19
  • QIC: Dr TryHard
  • The PAX: Doozie, Handshake, LongPole, Chaplain, Wedding Singer, Rosie, Don Draper, Kona, Mr Roper, Seadoo, Fresh Prince, DTH

Whistling dixie, YHC gathered 12 studly southern gentlemen around Old Glory to enlighten them of the coming battle. A nation divided against itself can not stand, so terms were set yesterday following WDog that North and South would compete in plank position – the most merkins in 45min wins the day. The SOJ Rebels to be led by DTH while the Yankee Aggressors at 45MOM would follow the flamboyant banner of Hardywood. Here follows the true accounting of how a few good Southern gentlemen gave life and limb for the honorable cause of claiming merkin victory…

The BATTLE:

Start with x30 standard Merkins OYO

Mosey to COP #1:

  • Run down Love Hill completing x10 Merkins at each light post, ending up at the culdesac (x140 merkins total) – arm circles for the SIX
  • SSH x15 IC
  • x5 Werkins IC (x10M)
  • DQ’s x5 IC
  • x5 Ranger Merkins IC (x10M)
  • Cherry Pickers x5 IC
  • x5 Diamond Merkins IC (x10M)
  • DR W’s x10 IC
  • x10 Merkins OYO

Mosey to COP #2:

  • Run back up to the Shovel Flag completing x5 Merkins at every light pole (x70 merkins total) – arm circles for the SIX

Mosey toward the other side of the AO, stopping twice to complete x10 Merkins

COP #3 at the Soccer Field:

  • Modified Merkin Beast — Start with x6 Merkins at each quarter of the field 25/50/75/75/50/25 (x36 per round), then for consecutive rounds add 2nd exercise following the initial x5 merkins:
  • Round 2: x6 M, x6 SSH
  • Round 3: x6 M, x6 Monkey Humpers
  • Round 4: x6 M, x6 2-ct Flutters
  • Round 5: x6 M, x6 Squats
  • Round 6: x6 M, x6 LBC’s
  • Beast Merkin Total = 216

Mosey to Amphitheater for COP #4:

  • Complete x5 Incline Merkins on each step going up, box jump up each step between merkins (x25 Merkins)

Mosey the long way BTTF:

  • Going around back loop, stop at each light pole to complete x10 Merkins, audibled after x4 light poles to complete x5 merkins each consecutive pole 
  • From end of AO on side walk, mosey BTTF stopping every 30 yards to complete x10 merkins (at one point x9 merkins completed to even up the numbers)
  • Lunge the last 50 yards to flag, completing x10 Merkins every x10 steps …ran out of time right after completing x660 merkins total!!!!

COT:

  • Counterama #12
  • Namerama (all vets)
  • Announcerama (see Comments)
  • FRESH PRINCE took us out in Prayer

NMS: 

  • VICTORY! VICTORY! VICTORY! The North has waved the white flag of surrender having completed an impressive, yet insufficient, 586 merkins in 45 minutes. The FORGE men stand victorious, with arms held limply at their sides, having won the day with 660 merkins in 45 minutes. THIS is what F3, in all its CSAUP glory, is all about!!!  DTH extends the invitation to any other AO that wishes to try their metal against the FORGE men, for a head to head 45 minute competition of their choosing. Or at the very least, attempt to complete more than 660 merkins in 45 minutes, and claim the F3RVA MOST MERKINS banner that the DTH Forge Flag will now be boasting. SYITG! ~DTH
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About Author

Joined F3 at NoToll 9/25/18. Started The FORGE 4/4/19. Fealty to SOJ. Follower of Jesus Christ. Pediatrician. Missionary. Husband to the M since 2005. Papa to a couple awesome 2.0's "Oreo" & "Banjo".

15 Comments

  2. Tobit on

    Looks like a solid Q DTH! Sorry to miss out on 660 merkins…but someone had to keep the SOJ torch burning at Timberwolf.

  3. Saab on

    As an innocent bystander who got roped into this unnecessary skirmish in the North, next time (unless the battle Involves APDs) I will be declaring myself a conscientious objector and flee to the nearest running boot camp I can find.

  7. Wojo on

    I’m hoping this was just a battle and not the entire war. Looks like I missed out on brutal workout.

  8. Rosie on

    Great fun today DTH, mumblechatter was supressed early with merkins and counting. Let’s hope this settles all future disputes, no need to try to top this, looking at you Swirly.
    Saab, you may have been appeased knowing that even with the excessive merkining we did manage to get over 2 miles covered.

  10. Gumbo on

    As an SOJ loyalist who got caught behind enemy lines today at 45MOM unaware that true battle lines had been drawn, I’m proud of my SOJ brethren (although not in God’s country of Chesterfield but actually in the City limits) for winning, but my arms are still in pain for the fight that I put in for the Northerners.

    660…DAMN. RESPECT!

  12. Hardywood on

    I’ll second Swirlys comment. Great job today fellas. That is a really impressive number and thanks for the pushing the 45MOM crew. It will be fun to see where this thing goes. I’ll be reviewing the HHS security video to see what percentage were Flerkins.

  13. Gumbo on

    You mean “Flerkin-esque”. Nobody can do the real thing other than the one and only, the man, the myth, the Legend…Flashdance.

    Flashdance – I hope you still check out F3RVA BBs occasionally and see this one – miss you brother. Hope all is well with you!

  14. Corned Beef on

    Sounds like an awesome challenge, you willing to come to Daville now that you know our secret location? Swirly is on our team?.