Open Wounds, Hot Wires, Malarial Ponds, and Poison Ivy

23 water-logged warriors threw off the covers of their Fartsacks, resurrected the mud-filled dreams of their youth, and created a PuppyPile for the ages.  On Monday, the kids in the cafeteria will tell a tale that sounds something like this:

COP:
Mosey to the Amphitheater Circle.  COP Q’d by YHC and escorted by two of Richmond’s finest officers of the law.
SSH’s
IW’s
DQ’s
Invisible Jump Rope, with flair.
Mercans
LBC’s

Curb Crawls:
Start on inner curb.  1 mercan.  Crawl bear to outer curb.  2 mercans.  Bear crawl to inner curb.  3 mercans…continue progression up to 5 mercans.

Hot potato Q Tossed to Vinny

Mosey to side of Carillon for Touch-a-Tree:
Partner up.  10, 8, 6, 4 tree touches.  WWII sit-ups in between.  Al Gore for the six.

Tunnel of Love:
Pax lines up hip-to-hip in plank position.  One after the other, Pax army crawls under the other Pax members holding plank.  Scrapes, cuts, and bruises encouraged.

Q Passed to HoneyDo

Mosey to Great Lawn for Animal Crawls:
Line up on the sidelines.
Round 1: Crab Walk
Round 2: Broad Jump Burpees
Round 3: Bear Crawl

Q Passed to OffShore

Team Based, Can-Can Lunges:
2.0s assemble on the end line of the Great Lawn.  Dads line up 20 yards from end line facing the 2.0s.  Within each group, Pax members put their arms around the others, staying in a straight line (like a can-can line).  In cadence, the lines perform lunges (2.0s) or backwards lunges (1.0s).  Any breaking of the lines results in entire Pax performing 5 mercans.  10 forward, 10 backwards.  Only 5 mercans had to be performed.

Q Passed to Sippy Cup

Mosey to VITA Trail (watch for cars).  Avoid the downed power line.

Burpee Lake:
Burpee ladder starting at one side of the VITA Trail.  Run to other side of trail.  Ford the lake in between (YHC guestimates lake at 100 feet wide and 3-5 inches deep).  Once across, perform one burpee.  Return.  During return, an audible was called.  Perform one extra “in-swamp” burpee.  Upon reaching other side, conduct 2 burpees.  Escalate to 6 burpees, continuing additional one “in-swamp” burpee.  Plank for the six.

Wet COP:
Circle up for Bidet Squats.  Squat in Lake VITA.  Lower hiney into the water.  That’s one.
Wet SSHs, increasing in speed.

Q Passed to Bootleg

Triple Check (for Poison Ivy):
First round: Plank while partner runs to tree.
Second round: Bridge (up-side down) while partner runs to tree.
Third round: LBCs while partner runs.

Mosey Back to Shovel Flags.

Number-ram-a, Name-a-ram-a, YHC took us out.

Announcements:
Summer Challenge: Post to every AO between Memorial Day and Labor Day.
Mr. Holland is raising funds for St. Baldrick’s.  Shakedown is all set to shave his head and most of beard mid-June.  Shakedown taking suggestions for remaining facial hair.  “Tom Selleck” Look leads in early polling, amid allegations of Russian meddling in the campaign.

NMS:
What a group this morning!  YHC is thrilled with the turn out.  Those 2.0s put in some serious work – well done to everyone.

YHC would like to thank all of the PAX for their Q’s this morning.  You all brought it big time.  Our 2.0s certainly received the FULL F3 experience today – bloody, muddy, and wet.  And, they made new friends – all the elements of a solid first and second F, all in one.

Offshore noted the sequence of experiences…scrape our legs in the Tunnel of Love, electrocute ourselves after crossing the road, then submerge our open wounds in the VITA Lake.  Top it off with some poison ivy exposure.  Dr. (ahem, Inspector) Flipper, Seymour, Flatline, Flashdance, & Co. take good care of the Pax’s muscles and teeth, but on this one the Pax are headed to Lola for radiological detox.  YHC needs more than Ivory Soap today.

Also, YHC hereby files and official objection to HoneyDo’s definition of an “animal crawl,” which apparently includes broad-jump burpees.  Homo sapiens stopped being knuckle draggers about a few millenia back…

Last note: YHC has thoroughly enjoyed almost 2 years of F3.  YHC’s 2.0 (Westminster, after the Dog Show) asked me, “Daddy, what has been your favorite F3 workout?”  YHC told her that all of his favorite workouts have been on the messiest, nastiest sunny and 70 degree days.  Today added to that list. YHC would like to thank Sippy Cup for coming up with fording the VITA Lake.  Icing on the cake today, brother, and right there at the top of YHC’s F3 experiences.

Welcome to all of the 2.0 FNGs.  FYI, Handshake’s son did not get a nickname as he had a hard stop for an 8:00 a.m. meeting, but as the littlest guy out there, he pushed hard.  Welcome, Hard Stop (for now).  Great to meet NOx as well – enjoyed the 2nd F at ETs.  Come back soon.