Always 70 and Sunny
Always 70 and Sunny

A Gender Neutral, Elevated Temperature Potato


12 mudders entered the paddock for today’s edition of The Dogpile. Temperatures soared to 70 and sunny throughout the Beatdown. According to the worms slinking across Wilbon Street, the following is a gender-neutral summary of the Beatdown:

Hot Potato Q called, YHC took the lead. Mosey to the Carillon’s front porch for:

SSHs x30
IW’s x10
DQ’s (Abe Vegoda-style) x10
Dead Man Hang (in silence) x1
Inverted Scorpion Kicks x (no one counted)
Alabama Prom Dates x5 (Gomer finished quickly. Sometimes that happens.)
HRMs x10

While the PAX was conducting this round, Hardywood’s farm welcomed another lamb.

Hitchhiker Q:

Mosey to the bottom of Rugby Road (the Triangle) for The Only Thing More Complicated than Touch-a-Tree.

Three guys to a group. Group goes 100 burpees, 200 SSHs, and 300 jump squats. The running was sort-of the longest team suicide up-and-down the hill to the traffic circle, with each tree being the stopping point on the suicide. One dude is always doing LBCs. As Flatline likes to say,”Only those who post know.”

Another lamb. Sorry, Kubota, no tractor needed around here.

Roger Roger Q:

4 rounds of people’s chair while doing overhead air presses. 100 APs per round. Then, run the loop (Rounds 1/2, run forward. Rounds 3/4, run Bernie Sanders-style). After each round, set of mercans. 20, 25, 30, 25.

And, voila, another lamb.

Bone Thugs Q (in mid-Q, Corporate announced a Reorganization Plan of today’s Q):

Original Directions, accompanied by pointing: “Triangle. Bear crawl. Lunge. Bear crawl.”

Field Implementation:

Round 1: Triangle, bear crawl, run Rugby, lunge 10 yards to first tree, Bernie Sanders to circle, do 20 mercans.

Rounds 2/3: Triangle, lunge short road, run Rugby, Bernie Sanders up hill, 20 mercans.

Yep, another lamb. Is this a workout or Woodstock?

Flipper Q:

Mosey to the Amphitheater. Ascending number of dips while descending in the Amphitheater. Count up while going down.

“What’s that, dear?” “Oh, mutton-honey. Just that another lamb-ie has arrived.”


Number-am-a, Name-a-ram-a, EF Hutton took us out.


Sign up for Consistency Daily, a daily email update on ways to make yourself and others better. From the author of Swirly’s Board, this is available directly to you, free of charge. This is good stuff. YHC is a subscriber and encourages you to be one, too. https://consistencycoaching.substack.com/?r=h5a4i&utm_campaign=pub&utm_medium=web&utm_source=copy

Sign-up for Breaking Bread this spring/summer. The PAX has 24 opportunities annually to help prepare and deliver dinner at the Medical Respite Clinic on Belt Blvd. Well, since the response has been so exceptional, the PAX now has opportunities only in June or later. Boom! Fully subscribed for February, March, April, and May. The PAX is wonderful. In the words of F3RVA’s resident shooting instructor, Henry Baskerville, “Ain’t it wonderful to be wonderful?”


Q sheet was open for Dogpile again today. F3 has 5 principles. Free. Open to all men. Rain or shine. Always outdoors. And, led by a rotating Q who participates in the workout. YHC encourages the PAX to Q. There are lots of opportunities to sign up. With Dogpile averaging 14-16 guys a week (pandemic numbers; and 25-30 pre-pandemic), we should have a new Q just about every workout during a given quarter of the year. YHC encourages folks who have not Q’d to do so (and that’ll give some other guys a chance to ease up). Let’s encourage some of the newer guys to jump in.

Swirly has canceled his subscription to the RTD after learning this morning that Hasbro’s Mr. Potato Head is slated become gender neutral. Apparently, everybody’s favorite spud will sprinkle his seed no more. He’s been spayed (well, neutered, but that’s not alliterative). C’mon, Hasbro. What are you going to do with Mrs. P? She’s a wonderful woman-of-color with traditional pear-shaped hips. Does she get a body-shaming make-over as well?

All of this begs the question, did either of these Traditional Taters ever actually have press-on genitalia? Not in YHC’s household. But, if they did, how traumatic is it that YHC is learning only now, at 48, that YHC’s parents must have removed the parts from the package? If someone wants to customize the toy for 2021, YHC says “let you be you,” but ease off on emasculating the Potato Heads.


UpChuck spits the bit.


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  1. Humans who find comfort in couch dwelling are offended by the term Potato, just sayin.

    I used to put the mustache from Mr. P on Mrs. P to make it look like the cafeteria worker at my school when I was a kid.

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