Always 70 and Sunny
Always 70 and Sunny

I Was a Tire Engineer


13 started, 15 finished in the latest tire-tastic incarnation of Dogpile. Temps were sunny and 70 with a slight chance of showers. Handshake requested lots of walking and stretching, so accordingly, the PAX did the following:

Mosey to the Near Circle, take a lap around the circle, and circle up for:

Dead Man’s Hang
Arm Circles (pour one out for Hardywood, not pictured).

Mosey 10 yards to the edge of the circle to discuss the unexpected presence of 4 Continental High-Performance Tires (this is F3RVA; standard tires are for other regions).

Form into teams of 3 or 4. Grab a tire. One man from each team carries their tire for, more or less, the rest of the workout. Change out the man carrying the tire as the team finds appropriate. Tire must remain above the carrier’s head. If the tire touches the ground, 5 burpees for the team. If the team fails to do their burpees, 10 burpees for the PAX. Accountability.

Mosey to the Great Lawn

Each team will bear crawl the length of the lawn. Man with the tire can walk or run, but must carry tire above his head.

Once at the end of the Lawn, reform on the side of the Great Lawn.
Round One: Triple check, but with only 2 options. Man runs with tire above head across Lawn and back. Other two partners do WWIIs. Swap and repeat 3 times.
Round B: Man with tire crawls in a manner of his choice, always keeping tire off the ground. Partner 2 does Flutter Kicks. Partner 3 does Rosalitas.

Somewhere during this effort, Bone Thugs and (Arthur) Vandelay joined us.

YHC wrapped this up early as the PAX had some road work to complete.

Mosey to the Far Circle for a Group Effort. Track Building.

Block coupons were apparently left overnight by the circle, and they needed to be moved to the Ha’ Penny Stage. With only 15 PAX to move 30 coupons, the PAX decided:

  1. The tires could not touch the ground.
  2. The tires could not be carried.
  3. The coupons and tires must be moved to the Ha’ Penny Stage.

Solution: Build a Road of Blocks. Teams could work alone or in groups. Team A decided to work alone, and as they started first, their progress looked like a winner, for the first 15 yards.

Then, Teams B, C, and D started, and they cooperated to build a single road. From there, a bloodbath ensued. 11 guys can build a road faster than 4. Since this is F3, the early finishers came back to help their brothers finish their task.

Lesson: work with and help your F3 brothers. They can help you through (most) obstacles.

Touch-a-Tree (It’s not an UpChuck Q without It):

One man from each team carries the tire over his head and touches 3 trees.
Other members of the team perform exercises.

Round one was a medley of flutter kicks, abyss merkins, and squats or monkey humpers. Plus, the tire carrying.

Round B was “head, shoulders, knees, and toes,” which DTH was kind enough to demonstrate. Plus, the tire carrying.

Put away the blocks. Carry the tires.

Native American walk, then mosey, then AYG BTTF. Tire carrying guys run circles around their team.

Number-am-a, Name-a-ram-a, YHC took us out.


Jimminee Christmas, the PAX was all about announcements today.

Puppy Pile mañana. 7 a.m. Don’t You Dare Pay a Toll to attend. DTH will either have a slip-and-slide or Mama Natura will provide one. Bring your own kids or bring a friend’s kids. Heck, bring your parents.

Hitchhiker completes another trip around the sun this week. Congrats. Please celebrate without twisting your ankle.

Bone Thugs 10-k will take place on Friday at RAMM. Someone fill in the start time, please. YHC thinks 5:15. That’s a.m.

AlpacaPalooza is Saturday, August 22nd at the Hardywood Family Petting Zoo in Mosely, VA, which YHC thinks is somewhere in Henry County. 3-8 p.m. See invite on Slack or in the News Section of F3RVA.com.

Iron Pax Challenge. DTH and BoBerry are in. Sign up under team RVA. This event is designed to teach the PAX how easy YHC’s directions are to follow.

Retreat on October 3. Bring a tent, food and beverages of your choosing, and a Cornhole Partner. Maybe that came out wrong. Address to be posted in Slack. Remember: this is a 2nd F, not a workout.

October: F3RVA CSAUP. Maybe we’ll bike and/or run to Williamsburg.

Shiplap is getting married in a few weeks. Really. This thing is going to happen. Walk through is today, in the rain. Congratulations.

Wojo: see above.


YHC bought new tires. YHC kept the old tires. YHC brought them today, and they were fun. YHC thanks the PAX for tolerating the experiment today.

Today’s workout title comes from Hitchhiker, who YHC learned was an actual tire engineer in a prior career. Hitch says Continental HPTs are good in the rain.

Also, for future Qs, the Amphitheater was more or less closed today. The stage is taped off, and the grass is higher than corn in September. Yikes.


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  1. Nice one Upchuck. Shoutout my Team A heroes Handshake, Mr Holland, and Bulkhead – no burpees and only a little but of railroad shaming. Glad to see Cooper’s better side is pictured above – whatever I can do to keep you awake at night Upchuck. ?

  2. Great Q today Upchuck! The walk through went well in ponchos and it should go smoothly with the 15 people that will be there haha

  3. Awesome. Glad to hear it. Hopefully, all the rain will be gone by then as well. Congratulations.

  4. Handshake (aka Elbow Bump) on

    Great Q, Upchuck. Lots of opportunity left with instructions. 😉

    What’s up with Helix in this photo? He appears to the the only person social distancing 😉