UpChuck Does Not Hate the Pax…

Ten PAX joined up in four groups of four or two groups of eight or sixteen groups of one to break the monotony of the Quarantine, experience some human interaction, and find someone to talk to. The PAX chose this week’s number-challenged Dogpile. With YHC having the Q, accurate counting, per usual, was not only optional, but discouraged…temperatures and weather were a seasonally perfect sunny and 70. Here is, with some editorial license and a solid dose of suspension of disbelief, more or less what happened.

Mosey to the intersection of Park and Blanton, then down Rugby to Wilbon to the “far circle.” Couple of loops around the circle to bring in The Six.

COP included the following exercises, all with different numbers of reps.

SSH
Dead Man Hang
Its
Helicopters
LBCs
Reverse Crunches
Scorpion Kicks
HRMs

Mosey to the Amphitheater Stage

Dora 1-2-3 (or 100-200-300)

100 WWIIs (1 count)
200 Reverse crunches (1 count)
300 Flutter Kicks (2 count…right leg up and down = 1, or 2, depending upon how each PAX counts them).

“Runner” bear crawls up the ramp to the Stone Wall, then runs back to their partner on the stage by a route of their choice. Those worried about interception on the return trip by a modern-day King Herod were advised to return to the stage by another route.

PAX did flutter kicks x50 (4-count) for The Six.

Probation gave us an abbreviated 100 count.

Mosey to the Ha’ Penny Stage

Touch-a-Tree

Like a baseball game without the National Anthem, a YHC Q would not be complete without Touch-a-Tree.

Round 1: Touch 3 different trees. Return to Stage. 5 burpees, 20 What-cha-ma-call-its.

Round 2: Touch 6 different trees. Return to Stage. 10 burpees, 40 What-cha-ma-call-its.

Round 1: Touch 9 different trees. Return to Stage. 15 burpees, 60 What-cha-ma-call-its.

Mosey to the Great Lawn

Four Corners (PAX Choice)

10 HRMs
20 LBCs
30 Monkey Humpers
40 SSHs
SSHs for The Six. 4-Count x 40

Mosey to the Forgotten Lane on Love Hill

Partner up. Partner 1 runs to the gate and back. Partner 2 performs the following exercise until Partner 1 returns.
Round 1: Bear crawl
Round 2: Broad jump burpee
Round 3: Lunges

Mosey to the Near Circle

Ring of Fire

PAX Choice of 5 merkins…

Chuck Norris
Diamond
HRMs + Shoulder taps
Stop, Drop, and Roll (Fire Drill, or whatever those are called)
Burpees
Cockroach Merkins (crowd pleaser)
Just Do a Normal Merkin
YHC probably missed a type or two.

Mosey BTTF – the PAX turned this into a Jail Break, so 1 Minute Remained for…

…Finishing the Ring of Fire

Shoulder taps
Some other type of merkin
Werkins
YHC missed at least one type.

Number-a-ma, Name-a-ram-a, YHC took us out.

NMS:

The PAX takes intense interest in YHC’s counting, in both style and substance. YHC enjoys this very much. YHC has decided to publish the Show Schedule for various counting styles. Touch-a-Tree will be available at all events, subject to change.

March: Lawrence Welk Day (Uh-one, two, three…)
April: Dark
May: Apparently, Militant Counting Day
June: Only Those Who Post Know (Perhaps Flatline’s Swedish Chef will make a cameo)

YHC also enjoys addressing questions from the PAX during his Q’s. In today’s version, some of the PAX expressed a desire to understand the difference between a 1 and 2-count flutter kick. YHC confesses that he has No Idea (Different Guy). This is a distinction that was not covered during YHC’s formal education nor during YHC’s stint at Q-School, which YHC did not in fact attend. TYA has graciously dedicated the entirety of this week’s Office Hours to comments from the PAX on this subject (every other Thursday, 9:00-9:01 a.m.).

YHC congratulates everyone who ran from their home on the south side to ET’s, then back to Dogpile, and then back home. Solid.

YHC also wants to congratulate anyone who ran for 26 minutes without stopping. YHC is impressed. Hat’s off also to the PAX who keep each other going. Well done.

Last note: each morning, the PAX gets together in a closed park (“Park closes at dark”), on the grounds of a closed school (“Fields Closed”), or runs on public streets. Other than a mythical unicorn-creature called “Sarah,” YHC is not aware of anyone messing with the PAX. Not a police officer, nor a citizen has done so in YHCs 4 years. A fitness instructor tried once to inhibit the PAX with a line of query regarding government licensing, but was repulsed by TYA’s swift employment of the phrase,”We’re done here.”

Perhaps this is because the PAX are many in number. Or, perhaps because The Gloom is super early. Or, perhaps because the PAX are super-buff, or graciously out-going, or frequently sporting matching bad-ass black, logo-ed F3 uniforms (or, in TYA’s case, a logo-ed “unitard”). If our purpose is to push our fellow man toward greater Accountability and Leadership in our community, YHC asks each man to think about how each of us can help build a society where a man going for a jog can be, for him (or for a her), a harassment-free way to enjoy one’s life, rather than have it taken away.

Announcements:

Deuce is organizing a Memorial Day Murph. YHC thinks Deuce said 6 a.m. at Dogpile. Please correct YHC if that is inaccurate. 1 mile run, 100 pull ups, 200 push ups, 300 squats, 1 mile run.

UpChuck spits the bit.