Always 70 and Sunny
Always 70 and Sunny

Bear Crawl Doping


Eight fine gentlemen emerged in the waning gloom for a Splinter led beatdown @ WDog.  Huddle up around the flag while waiting for Hardywood to put his shoes on, then away we went.  It went something like this:

Long mosey to the east side of chigger hill for COP:

20x Smurf Jacks
15x Russian Soldiers (or Hillbilly soldiers for one)
Typical routine for arm circles forwards and backwards
20x Mountain Climbers
10x WWI situps

The Thang
Slow saunter over to fountain lake for 10+ minutes of merkins.  Gather at the southeast corner and run to the 1st light post and complete 2 merkins.  Run back to the start and repeat 2 merkins.  Run to the second light post and complete 4 merkins.  Run back to the start and repeat 4 merkins.  Continue as many light posts as you can get to in 10 minutes, doubling the merkins at each light post.  Stopped shortly after 10 minutes.

Work our way back to the VITA loop, stopping at the nearest corner.  Bear crawl counter clockwise on the loop to the first station then complete 10 jump squats.  Keep working our way around the track until YHC said stop.  Audible after the first 50 yd bear crawl (because that sucked) to alternate between lunges and bear crawls.  Quick audible to stop the mayhem after 4 stations.

Run, reportedly in the wrong direction, to the end of light post row (Boulevard & Trafford).  Escalating burpee light posts.  Start at 1, adding 1 burpee for every light post you get to.  Continue to the end of the sidewalk.

Run back to the flag, stopping for some pole smoker indian run with flutter kicks as the idle station.  Exchange pleasantries with our peer workout group before circling up for COT where YHC took us out.

What a wonderful day to be out in the gloom.  With the light and temperatures increasing in the morning, the gloom doesn’t quite feel so gloomy.  The PAX was highly appreciative of the cardio friendly workout today.  Apparently the PAX did not appreciate YHC calling out 5 minutes left during 10 minutes of merkins.  Bodo’s wondered if that meant 5 minutes left in the workout.  Alas, much more to do.

Bear crawl stations on the VITA trail seemed like a good idea but was quickly modified due to overwhelming sucky-ness.  Even Honeydo was thankful for the audible there.  Apparently he has been working out with the Russians the past few weeks as his bear crawling form was top notch.

Swirly was itching to provide advice to our peer group on how both partners can benefit from certain exercises.  Glad he stayed on the straight path back to the flag.  Great catching up with you today Swirly.

– CSAUP planning is in full effect.  Lobby your team captain for your ideal legs.
– Breaking Bread this Sunday.  See Kubota.
– Healing Place Saturday after Dogpile.  See Honeydo or Upchuck.
– Prayers to all our PAX members going through grief or anxiety.

Apologies to any LIFOs that may have been out there.  No chance you would have found us today.  Enjoy the day fellas.

Splinter out.



  1. Swirly (F3 Corporate) on

    Nice Q / field trip Splinter. What a beautiful warm Feb morning …
    Man that merkin light pole was tough….
    Great catching up with you as well my friend..
    Way to push guys..
    See y’all in the gloom..

  2. Outstanding Q Splinter and thanks for the mercy minute while I put on my shoes. A few thoughts here.

    The 10 minutes of merkins absolutely crushed me. If my math of 2+2+3+3+4+4+5+5+6+6+7+7+8+8+9+9+10+10+11+11+12+12+13+13+14+14+15+15+16+16 is correct, that is 329 merkins…..to start. Good god man.

    The burpee light post bonanza was the closest I have come to spilling the merlot in a long, long time. Big thanks to Sippy for the push today.

    I went home. Made breakfast. Poured a cup of coffee and promptly fell asleep. F3 is essentially preparation for my long term stay in an old folks home.

  3. Way to start the Bear Crawl at the furthest point on VITA from the next sign.
    That Merkin Mile sure felt way longer than 10 minutes.

  4. YIKES…my arms just went numb reading this. I’m not sure how you all bear-crawled anywhere after the 10-minutes of merkins. Respect! And, I shed a tear for Swirly and Hardywood who had to endure this after Swirly’s ShoulderFest at NoToll yesterday. Nice work fellas.

  5. Thanks Splinter.

    Oh the pain while running between lightposts for those merkins – shoulders! 329!?!?!?

  6. That math may be accurate in Russia but the rest of us would say nyet. The correct sequence should have been 2+2+4+4+6+6+8+8+10+10+12+12+14+14+16+16. That would total 144. Still impressive for 10 minutes. Some of us (myself included) didn’t make it to the 8th light post.

    The total for your sequence would have been 270, which is still wrong. But that’s just coming from a guy that likes numbers. When you tell that story to your grandchildren go with your original reporting. Old people always exaggerate to tell a good story.

  7. Well screw me. Damn math. Alexa, please run an automatic double check on my calculations.

    As always, Big Data is correct here.

    Yes, I will tell my grandkids the truth as I know it. They’ll hear about the time I took a helicopter to H.O.R.D.E. festival and almost hooked up with Cindy Crawford. Again, it’s the truth as I know it.

  8. Splinter forgot to mention the traffic by the lake at 5:40 AM. Felt like trying to do Merkins in the road on Broad St. in Short pump on Christmas eve.

  9. I half expect Hardywood to show up to an F3 workout riding a bear at some point. He would be wearing Bermuda shorts though…