If a Polar Bear crawls up a hill, and no-one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

The answer is “yes,” and it sounds something like a groan mixed with a strangled fart. Because that’s what it was.

YHC posted to a Bettie Weaver ES parking lot populated only by icicles and slushy rain puddles, notwithstanding the forecast of 70ish and sunny-ish. At the appointed time, YHC shed the comfy confines of his car-sack to get going, having learned from previous experience that lingering around an elementary school parking lot dressed in head-to-toe black can sometimes be … misconstrued. According to the Riverton Neighborhood Watch report, here’s how it went:

Warmarama: Mosey to the BWES covered entrance for COP: SSH x 20, IW x 20, Russian Soldiers x 10, Helicopters x 10, DQ x 10, Freddy Mercuries x 20, APDs x 20, Iron Cross x 5 each side.

Thang 1: Headlamp on and mosey to Twin Team hill. Polar Bear (bear crawl 5 faces then merkin) from cul-de-sac to the third mailbox, then Bernie Sanders (a/k/a reverse shuffle through the slush) the rest of the way up. At the turn before the top, note the ice sheets, the fragile 49 year old ligaments and bones, and call a tactical withdrawal. Bernie Sanders back to the mailbox, Polar Bears back to the cul-de-sac, pausing occasionally to ponder whether splashed merlot would freeze on contact with the ice, or sort melt partially through and make a half melted chunder puddle. In the spirit of full disclosure, by end these polar bears devolved into some sort of four-point, shuffling deadman hang punctuated occasionally by a Carolina Dry Dock. The form police would be calling in their SWAT team.

Thang 2: Mosey carefully back to the BWES covered entrance for 11s – 10 x crab cakes, lunge across, 1 x merkin, etc.

BTTF for self-numbering, self-naming and prayer of gratitude.

NMMS: While having a PAX around is always preferable, sometimes a solo post does YHC good – its an opportunity for YHC to see if he can do the right thing instead of the easy thing for 45 minutes when nobody else is watching. YHC is convinced that pays dividends in all areas of life. SYITG!