Handshake’s Lost Manhood

The flags were stiff as our worthy adversary, the wind chill, tried to make the fart sack look attractive.  However, 7 noble warriors embraced the gloom at HBR.  Here is how it went down:

• COP
  • SSH
  • IW
  • DQ
  • Arm circles – big and small
  • Helicopters
  • Suzanne Somers
  • Merkins
  • LBC
• Mosey around the school to the black top for a one man Dora
  • 100 HRM in sets of 20
  • 200 2x flutter kicks in sets of 40
  • 300 monkey humpers in sets of 60
• Mosey back to the parking lot for a Captain Thor
• COT with YHC taking us out

Great work by the PAX today.  The Dora started strong with the HRM and ended with a leg burner and monkey humpers.  On a positive note, no burpees, and we stayed dry. The arms and legs should feel some burn later. The 300 monkey humpers was a surprise for Honeydo.

Now we must address Handshake.  Last night he churned up a text string, looking for a Q, complaining about YHC Qs, and offering to Q himself.  He even referred to his “insatiable” bedroom “reputation,” accompanied by scissor and eggplant emojis.  Fast forward to this morning where it appears the scissors were not for a small snip, but an all-encompassing clipping of his manhood.  Handshake (and all his mumble chatter) was silenced.  His manhood was nowhere to be found. He says he could not sleep last night.  No truth to the rumor he spend last trying to quench his “insatiable” thirst for himself while watching his 10 second local television commercial debut on an endless loop.  Please do not think about that in the hour immediately preceding or following your lunch.  I believe that his “leadership” to push for a Q then fart sacking should result in 100 punitive burpees.  

Prayers for Gypsy with his upcoming toe surgery.  Continued thankfulness that Pinto was unharmed by gunshots last week. 

God is good all of the time!

Attila