3 1/2 marathon virgins and three veterans posted for our countries toughest 1/2 Marathon (Blue Ridge Marathon in Roanoke)
13.1 miles, 1890 feet of climbing, 1890 feet of descending, a trip around the star and an ascent onto Peak wood drive for some champagne and strawberries.
We all successfully completed the actual event. The run, with its elevation changes, was no joke. I think of it as running the two mountain goat hard legs of the BRR (legs 31 and 32) back to back with a few extra miles thrown in for fun. A few notes on the race itself
- Times were (approximately) Rosie 2:05, EF Hutton 2:15, Splinter and Taxi Cab 2:22 and Swirly and TYA 2:35
- Splinter had another occurrence of his post grandfather mountain experience. When I saw him right after Swirly and I finished, he looked awful. No color, shivering and generally looking miserable. He grabbed a couple space blankets, rested and ate for a bit and looked much better a 1/2 hour later. He had been battling a cold for a few weeks and knew right from the start that pushing the run wouldn’t be wise. Smart move, given how he looked afterwards
- All the virgins slayed the race. For a first 1/2 experience, this was a tough one to bite off. Each runner easily (relatively) tackled the race. Impressive performance gents, couldn’t be happier to see you accomplish that
- As mentioned by the PAX several times there was a lot of talent in the race (having nothing to do with actual running skill). Swirly and I, despite all our best efforts, could not shake several runners right in front of us for the last 6 miles.
- Best marked and one of the best organized races I ever done. Volunteers were awesome, tons on folks out there in the rain cheering people on, and pre and post race activities were awesome
Now on to the real story of the weekend, the other crazy things that happen along the way at a CSAUP
- Post race the boys ordered a take out pizza for the crew. YHC was very skeptical as they got one pepperoni pizza for five people. Please people, you just ran a 1/2 marathon, live a little and get a couple pizzas, you earned it. I was proven completely wrong when Splinter got back in the van with Pie. It was enormous. I don’t think it would fit most cars. It clearly wouldnt fit in a compact or subcompact. It might fit in a midsize car, but I am not sure. The delivery vehicle must be a flat bed truck or full sized pickup. Despite its size, the boys eventually finished all 8 enormous pieces of the Pie
- Post race four of us jumped into Smith Mountain Lake. It was awesome. The water was a bit chilly, but could not have felt better. It completely reinvigorated me after the race. As a side note, here, Swirly did not get into the lake and did not shower until Sunday morning. How he could do that, I do not know
- Swirly had an awesome dinner the night before the race. He ordered an appetizer sized portion of ribs with a side of fries. What came for him was 3 very small ribs, and the tiniest baked potato I have ever seen. Despite the fact that Swirly ordered this himself, he blamed all the other PAX members for this outcome because somehow we all should have know that this would happen. Side note, I went to the Kroger post race since YHC cannot eat pizza, looking at the choices, I really wanted to get some chick breast, but upon seeing the 1/2 rack of ribs, I had to order the ribs because of Swirly’s prior night experience. Dinner was good, but service could not have been worse. Our waitress couldn’t have been older that 14 and couldn’t seem to remember anything that Taxi cab asked for.
- Prior to the race all PAX were giving advice to the 3 1/2 marathon virgins. One of the big subjects that was discussed was bag balm. The BRR veterans were extolling its many virtues and explaining all the places it must be applied. The virgins seemed a little skeptical until splinter joined us and reiterated the importance of it and negative implications of not using it.
- As you all know, swirly has a way with works (e.g,, Steady is the drip that wears the rock away). He was up to his old antics and during the trip came up with what I think should become Bag Balms tagline: “Bag Balm is WD-40 for the Balls”
- I will say from the beginning, that YHC did not participate in the event described below. I went to bed before its occurrence. At about 8 pm, Taxi Cab, Hutton and Rosie went to the store to get something for dinner. When they arrived back they reported that the ribs they were looking for were all put away. In its stead, Taxi had purchased a frozen Lasagna. Not an individual serving, but a party sized platter. He popped it in the oven at 9pm and it was ready at midnight. Since I was asleep, I do not know how many participated in the Lasagna party, whether keys were dropped in a basket, or any other details. I do know there was a significant amount of bag balm missing in the morning
- We watched a ton of playoff hockey on Saturday. Swirly is learning the sport, but could not stop asking what quarter it was, how many people where on the court at the same time and where was OTT (Swirly, it is somewhere between Belarus and Belize)
- I love F3 guys. When it was time to get ready to leave and clean up the house, not a work was spoken, no duties and responsibilities were assigned. The PAX with no direction, simply completely cleaned the house up and got the van packed for home. Everyone just jumped in and did what needed to be done. We were gone in 20 minutes and the house was back to its pre-event state.
- Thanks to Rosie for hosting this event. Vanna was awesome and the parents lake house could not have been better.
If you haven’t been on a CSAUP road trip yet, schedule on this year. The weekend was a series of comedy routines with a little run in between. A true please, gents.
A pleasure gentlemen
Great run-down TYA. Makes me feel as though I was there (and wish I was).
Absolutely AWESOME guys.
Did Vanna get her bumper tramp stamps?
Well done, guys! I was a bit bummed that I err…. Hardywood couldnt catch you on the course, but his family had other plans for him. I bet it was very tough for me….sorry Hardywood to be at the start and not actually go out and tackle that monster hill with my…um his brothers!
Great work to Taxi, Hutton and Swirly for knocking down another physical challenge.
Another badass accomplishment in the books for F3RVA. Way to go fellas…..that climb sounds formidable.
Wow, well done, you gents killed it! Let me guess, the ribs/fries fiasco was reflective of the downhill slide of Applebees since Wilson left the company a few years ago?
And is bag balm better than chamois butter? I can personally attest to the effectiveness of chamois butter but not the former.
Excellent BB TYA and a huge thanks to you for running with me.. Freaken awesome time fella’s – big thanks to Rosie for hosting!
I’m ready for the next adventure/event…
Bag balm is indeed WD40 for the balls / and Swirly is like American Express – never leave home without me 🙂
Oh and by the way midnight Lasagna parties are awesome….
Great write up TYA and thanks to all for the awesome memories. The incident at Jake’s place with respect to the cat ribs may go down and F3 lore similar to Earthworm and Bakersfield.
Thanks to Rosie for hosting and TYA for organizing. Great work to you all. See you next year
Great BB TYA and thanks for the encouragement to run, SMR or otherwise. Thanks to Rosie for hosting and driving, great place for a road trip.
Some of my other favorite moments from the weekend, despite their insignificance:
“No double dipping in the Bag Balm”
1) TYA to host- (Looking at table layout) Will we have Kendall, Laura, or Kim as our server?
Host back to TYA- Yes
2) “That’ll lube your chassis” upon EF’s choice of the Oyster Po’Boy
3) Potato wedges
While watching Caps (Red) v. Maple Leafs (White) – Swirly “I like the Blue team”
Saturday post race:
1) Seeing a guy have a post race smoke
2) Taxi Cab is attacked by Jaws
3) Taxi Cab is Junkyard 2.0
French Fry appetizer – just eat them like an ear of corn
She is a reluctant Yankee….still working on her.
Chamois Butter is not Bag Balm. If it isn’t used on a cow’s udder it is not going on TYA’s b–ls
A few more that I missed
1. Epic EF Hutton Belly Flop
2. The crazy 50 year old birthday party
3. EF insisting the best way to apply the bag balm was by dipping his junk in the container
Also, I contest the beer count of 35 for EF/Swirly/Rosie/Splinter. Number was much bigger than that!
Would’ve thought it was higher too, but I could only remember the 12 Session Lagers, 12 Silver Bullets (tall boys), and the 2 6 packs I picked up. Perhaps there were more I’ve forgotten. There were beers at Jack’s and post race. Also we really only had Splinter for less than a day.