October 16th, 2015 F3 RVA was forever changed. From that date forward every workout has mysteriously been 70 and sunny. Here’s what transpired on the 5th anniversary (observed):
Mosey to the Amphitheater.
COP
- Dead Man Hang
- DQs
- Copperhead Squats
- Jazzercises
- SSHs
- Merkins
- Suzanne Somers L/R
- Freddie Mercurys
Mosey toward Rusty Cage
Triple Check
- P1 – Run to Cage 10 Pullups and back
- P2 – Monkey Humpers
- P3 – Heals to Heaven
Mosey to Front of Carillon
Triple Check 2
- P1 – Bear Crawl to Fence and 10 WWIIs
- P2 – Hand Release Merkins
- P3 – Imperial Squat Walkers
Mosey to Bamboo Hut
Triple Check 3
- P1 – Wall Climbs
- P2 – WWIIs
- P3 – Run Loop
Quick Mary
- LBCs
- Reverse Crunch
Mosey to SF
Numberama, Nameorama, COT
MOLESKIN
If there’s one thing YHC has learned over his years with F3 is that success takes an individual effort. And when one accomplishes something however menial, it should be celebrated and self-focused. The PAX gathered on this day not to become better but to marvel at YHCs accomplishment in hopes of gleaning just a smidge of greatness. To truly celebrate this momentous occasion, YHC has put together a timeline of all the times he has inspired the PAX, achieved unconscionable feats of athleticism, and elevated the PAX to heights unimaginable.
November 6, 1980 – A bandanaed baby is born unto the world and it was said “When this child speaks, people listen.”
November 7, 1980 – The millennial generation begins.
September 23, 1989 – Cople Elementary, PE teacher calls for Jumping Jacks, Sit-ups, and Push-ups. The child says “No, we shall call them Side Straddle Hops, WWIIs, and Merkins” and it becomes true.
December 31, 2010 – The Chosen One plants a seed in Charlotte, NC using a shovel attached to a flag. That seed, with the help of a couple of dudes tapped to “Q” the next morning, sprouts and continues to spread, like Kudzu.
September 2014 – The Kudzu reaches RVA. Prophets, henceforth known as Corporate, are sent to prepare the way.
October 16, 2015 – The PAX meets a friendly new guy and a light begins to shine on RVA. This friendly new guy is baptized in sweat and given a new moniker and it is good.
February 22, 2016 – Prophecy is fulfilled, EF Hutton speaks for the first time, the PAX listens. Suddenly the rain at NoToll dries up and the fields become green and lush.
February 2017 – Friendly competition amongst the PAX triggers a record keeping of data. EF says to Splinter “the data is good, but make it Big.”
April 6, 2017 – A golf tournament is held in Augusta, Georgia in honor of F3RVA’s “A Tradition Unlike Any Other”
April 22, 2017 – America’s toughest road race is challenged by America’s toughest man, man wins
July 11, 2017 – 2nd annual inaugural Home Run Derby, Hardywood launches a bomb headed for the stratosphere, EF says not today my friend, more burpees. Ricky Henderson smiled.
September 2017 – 2nd F is revolutionized when EF creates a new brand of football, something never seen or done before, this popular brand of football shall become known as fantasy football
September 2017 – Civil War erupts among the PAX. Fresh off a near death experience, EF leads his team to a come-from-behind BRR victory while bearcrawling to the finish line.
April 7, 2018 – A new standard of excellence is established as EF completes the Corporate Challenge, few will ever again understand how this is actually done.
April 13, 2018 – Team Tuckahoe brings home the Century Classic in dominating fashion as EF blows by Marcel Marceau in the darkness of Windsor Farms. Marcel returns to the School for Mimes never to be heard from again.
September 2019 – Rematch at BRR, in an act of mercy and extreme sportsmanship EF allows Team Corporate to cross the finish line first.
September 2019 – 2nd F is once again revolutionized when EF creates a game now known as Cornhole. Inspired to be the best, the Stache Bros retire from adult entertainment to train full time in the art of the bag toss.
March 12, 2020 – EF joins the 500 club as officially recorded by Big Data
October 14, 2020 – EF secures the AO on his 633rd recorded attempt, Swirly was proud
Alright, alright, alright, maybe this timeline isn’t exactly true and my facts may be a little skewed, but I’ll tell you what is true, and that’s the greatness of this brotherhood. So many memories have been made, however questionable they may be. I’ve been inspired and challenged and made a little better each day. Looking forward to 5 more. As for this revised history, Upchuck put me up to it.
ANNOUNCEMENTS
Breaking Bread – last Saturday and Sunday of the month – need volunteers
Beer Mile Saturday 8pm Carillon
CSAUP – October 23rd
Shoe Drive – All month long
9 Comments
E.F. Hutton, brother hard to imagine reading that ode to oneself without a single reference to Macho Man. That aside, F3RVA is because of men like you. Solid leaders. Solid examples. Solid men. I could not be more proud to call you my brother. Sorry I missed the beat down today. I was there in spirit.
September 2021 – ‘Stache Bros for the 3-peat
October 14, 2020 – the greatest back blast was written and it was celebrated. Congrats brother! Sorry I missed it.
Awesome BB
Congrats EF Hutton! Loved the timeline on the backblast. The data supports your transcriptions as described.
When I saw your #bigdata number I noticed it didn’t quite match what I had in my head. So I went back and reviewed every post since 3/19/2017 and noticed there was one missing. Blame it on Chum, but it has since been fixed. At least I know there is 1 person watching (2 if you include Wilson).
I hope you pumped Huey Lewis and the News with the windows down as you headed back to your home nano-region.
Glad to be one of a few who were there 5 years ago and could be here again this morning. Welcome to Corporate Emeritus status EF Hutton!
I believe you are the person who explained the Corporate Challenge to me.
I KNOW that, before there was a Summer Tour or a Winter Tour or a COVID Tour or any other tours, there were EF and UpChuck realizing late in the fall one year that each of us was on a personal (and previously unannounced) quest to visit every AO within one year (2017?). Boom. Thanks for motivating me to finish it. And, we killed off a few zombie AOs in the process.
Good one. Wanna say Offshore also toured before there was a tour.
Offshore? Name rings a bell. Did he move? Get hurt? Die?
There was a rumor that he went into quarantine so deep that it just became “hibernation.”
Rosie and I did it back in 2015/2016. Friends for life because of it.