Always 70 and Sunny
Always 70 and Sunny

Don’t You Dare Touch-a-Tree


One PAX sallied forth into the first of several days of vacation in the mountains formerly known as Western Virginia. Dodging the occasional morning walker, YHC relished the sunny and 70 temps while doing:

Do Not Even Think of Touching a Tree

YHC loves directions. Complicated directions. Today’s workout was dedicated to Fudd, Wilson, and all the other PAX for whom YHC’s directions have proven elusive. Even when done the same way for 4 years. Or, when provided in writing.

Today’s workout was simple: a) do it OYO, and 2) make it hard. With some fine print.


Pick a section of the park in front of YHC’s cottage. A “section” is any grassy area bounded by a path (bike path, walking path, road, any asphalt, gravel, or YHC was just not sure, so YHC called it a path to get this show on the road). For any PAX not sure of what a “section” is, it is what you say it is. OYO. Make it hard.

Mosey to a tree in that section to start. Do 5 or 10 reps of an exercise (mercans and any ab exercise were today’s winners as YHC’s knee continues to be balky). Generally, do 4-count exercises. OYO. Make it hard.

Mosey to the “next” tree of choice in that section. 5 or 10 reps. Dealer’s Choice on the exercise. OYO. Make it hard.

Continue until YHC visited every tree in a section, generally between 5 and 30 trees.

YHC estimates 5-6 sections.

Fine Print:

Answers to questions that the PAX would have asked, if the PAX were present:
Park benches are 20 dips.
Light poles are a burpee.
Funky looking ivy-like trees are 5 WWIIs.
Make an honest effort to alternate mercans with ab exercises.
A single mercan includes touching the ground with your chest.
Curls with the plastic buckets in the kid’s sand box are optional.

If the terrain is approached going up-hill, exercises are done “incline.”
If the terrain is approached down hill, exercises are “decline.”
Again, OYO. Make it hard.

Finish an entire section before moving to the next section.
Bear crawl across any asphalt, gravel, road, etc.
Move only between adjacent sections.
If this is not possible, bear crawl to the next section. OYO. Make it hard.

Rule #1: Do not touch a tree, a branch, a leaf, a pine needle, or any other object naturally attached to a tree, other than the roots. Penalty is 5 burpees. Per branch or tree. No penalties were incurred.

Rule #2: Do not ruin or break a spider web. (More challenging than it sounds). Penalty is 10 burpees. Some burpees were incurred.

Rule #3: Do not leave a section without completing all required exercises. Penalty is 5 burpees, per tree or bench. YHC missed a set of benches hidden by bushes. Ugh.

Number-am-a, Name-a-ram-a, YHC took himself out.


YHC is ready for vacation. He’s been on the DL much of the spring/summer. A workout with light running, but solid intensity was what YHC needed.

Today’s message to Self:

F3 is fundamentally about Accountability. A lone PAX has to step up the Accountability. No cheating on the mercans. No moving on without doing the extra work when a penalty is incurred. No stopping with sections left in the park. No holding a contest and then not following through when you lose the contest (YHC sees you – and, you know who you are).

Make a commitment to do the work. Follow through on that commitment. Accountability in Life is OYO. Accountability is hard.


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