Eleven – YHC double counted – eleven men of steel brushed off the pre-Thanksgiving gloom and posted for today’s version of WDog, or as Phonics describes it, math class. Temps held at 70 and the sun shined brightly. According to the drug dealer in the white van, the PAX did the following…
Mosey to the Near Circle…making two laps around the circle…
(Note #1: YHC crushed the mosey today, lapping BOTH Hardywood and Phonics. YHC doesn’t want to start anything, but it’s clear they have lost a step. YHC says 46 is the new 26. Suck it, formerly fast guys.)
(Note #2: YHC hopes Hardywood feels better. Something about flu combined with a cold combined with bronchitis and a leg amputation. Let’s just leave this at: “Hardywood wore long sleeves.” If things don’t improve, rumor has it Hardywood has ordered some of those yoga pants with the sheer calves. Yikes.)
(Note #3: Phonics had no excuses. More to follow on this…)
Circle of Pain:
Arm circles, SSHs, DQs, Imperial Walkers, LBCs, Flutter Kicks, Scorpion Kicks, and HRMs.
Mosey 30 Yards to the Grass We Never Use for Touch-a-Tree:
Apparently, YHC developed a stutter today. Touch-a-Tree works as follows. Partner up. First partner performs a designated exercise, in this case, Little Baby Crunches. Second partner runs and touches 5 different trees, then returns to base. The partners swap roles. Second man then touches 5 different trees while partners performs LBCs. Partners can touch same tree as their partner.
Stick with YHC here…this is the hard part. When the PAX moves to the Round of 4, each PAX only needs to touch 4 trees, but not any of the same trees that same PAX touched in the Round of 5.
Round of 3, only 3 trees.
Round of 2, only 2 trees.
Round of 1…wait for it…only 1 tree. Some guys did Extra Credit and touched 5 trees on every round.
Round of 5: LBCs
Round of 4: LBCs
Round of 3: Box cutters
Round of 2: Box cutters
Round of 1: Burpees
Pro Tip: Save the tree at which the PAX started for the Burpee Round. (YHC thanks Handshake.)
Al Gore for the six. 5 HRMs to celebrate the PAX dominating today’s Directions and Counting.
Mosey Not One Step ‘Cause We are Doing Touch-a-Tree Again (The PAX will do this until the PAX gets it right):
Round of 5: APDs
Round of 4: APDs
Round of 3: Flutter kicks (not sure…)
Round of 2: Flutter kicks
Round of 1: Burpees
Mosey Not One Step for Touch-a-Traffic-Cone:
There’s one traffic cone out there. Find it. Touch it. Partner 2 does burpees until Partner 1 returns. This could be a while.
Mosey to the Amphitheater for Something That Was Actually Confusing:
Each PAX member takes a row (one man per row). Start on one side of the Amphitheater. PAX members run laterally across their row. When PAX reaches an aisle, stop and do an exercise. Continue to the next aisle and repeat. Reverse direction, repeat exercise at center aisle, then head back to starting point and repeat exercise. 3 rounds.
Round 1: 5 HRMs at each stop.
Round 2: 10 squats
Round 3: 15 box cutters
Assemble on the stage for Balls to the Wall for the six. “Hoooold it.” Thank you, Swirly.
One on the first step, 2 on the second step, 3 on the 3rd step…up to 18. Mix in reverse crunches or WWIIs when abs give out.
(Note #4: Phonics attempted to rehabilitate his reputation by racing YHC on the run BTTF. Throw out the records when these two titans clash. On paper, Phonics has YHC hands-down. But, meaningless races aren’t run on paper. They are run in dark parks under weird yellow lights and YHC sets the rules. Indeed, as the Odds Makers would predict, Phonics smoked YHC to within feet of the finish line. Unfortunately, Phonics (aka, “The Hare”) stopped short of the finish line, enabling YHC (aka, “The Tortoise”) to zip past and win, for the second time of the day. Nothing makes YHC happier than declaring himself victorious in a meaningless contest EXCEPT doing so in a meaningless contest that the other person is not aware is happening. Mission Accomplished. Vanity reinforced. And, heck no, there will not be a re-match (YHC may be dumb, but he’s not stupid).
Number-ram-a, Name-a-ram-a, YHC took us out. It’s a time to give thanks, and time to take a moment to say thanks. Take a minute to thank the people in your life for what they do, say, provide, share, etc. that makes you thankful for them. And, think of ways to bring people back into the fold, especially where there is a break in a relationship.
YHC loves giving directions. YHC loves repeating directions so much that any opportunity to repeat directions is an exercise in patience, self-restraint, and stroke avoidance. Future YHC Q’s will require each PAX member to sign a waiver indicating that said PAX member has read the Official Rules for Touch-a-Tree and understands said rules.
YHC now understands why Dr. TryHard loves the Merkin Challenge – it’s one set of directions for the whole 45 minutes. “Circle up. 45 minutes of merkins. BTTF.” Frickin’ genius.
Thanksgiving Day Convergence. 06:00 at 45MOM, but for one hour. TYA has the Q. Bring a coffee cup or be prepared to do an inverted keg stand for a hot cup o’ joe.
Day after Thanksgiving Loop-o-ram-a. 07:00. Forest Hill Park. Meet where the swap meets and farmer’s markets are held. Do one loop at 7. Rest until 8. Do another loop. Rest until 9. Repeato until you give up or 21:00 hours.
Dr. TryHard is holding a 37th birthday party for himself on Saturday at DogPile. Venison steaks and a free workout are included. Bring a party hat or party bandana.