Pay Your Dues At Batteau CC

It’s that time of year again to pay your dues at the Batteau Country Club. Member benefits include unlimited use of the pickleball courts and a crab walk buffet on Monday mornings. Dues can be paid in weekly installments on Mondays at 5:30am in Forest Hill Park.

According to legend, the hot potato beat down went a little something like this.

COP Swirly Style, let’s be honest he tried to flipping kill us:

• 30 Elbow Plank Up Downs
• 20 Burpees
• 50 Merkins
• 40 Mountain Climbers
• 40 Flutter Kicks
• 30 Count Boat Hold
• 10 SSH

Pass to Vinnie

Batteau CC Doras: Partner up. One partner runs the Valley of Dews (see what I did there). The other partner is exercising and deeply regretting getting a lower back tattoo. Switch when run is complete doing the following exercises to completion – 100 Decline Merkins, 200 WWII SI Uphill, 300 Squats

Pass to Upgrade

Fountain of Youth Ladder: Starting at the treeline, bear crawl for what seemed like an eternity to the first tree and run back. Then to make it even more apparent there was only one pax member under 30, crab walk all the way to the second tree and run back. Then forget about doing anything with your arms for the rest of the day, because you are now going to bear crawl to the 3rd tree. Pick your face up off the ground and run back. What are you in a hurry for might you ask; it’s to crab walk to the 4th tree. Don’t forget your toll tag and a snack. After that crustacean feat of endurance you gotta run back to the start. Now you have the privilege of bear crawling to the 5th tree. Birds chirping, sunrises, none of that crap matters at this point because all you want to do is be done. Guess what amigo, you are not done. Now you have to run back to the start and wait for it….crab freaking walk to the 6th tree. You’ll know you are done when you either a) reach the 6th tree or b) require Tommy John surgery.

Wonderwall: Some kind of overhead clapping exercise to the beat of an Oasis tune that seemed to be way disproportionate in skill or pain to the previous exercise. There is also a chance Upgrade was patronizing the pax.

Numberama, namerama, Swiper led us out.

Announcements: Camp Vinnie is in full effect on September 9/21 – 9/22. You can enjoy most of your amendments, but not all of them. If you are a 3rd amendment advocate, you’re gonna be ok. The rest of you, good luck.

Moleskin: YHC likes being back very much. This is a great way to start the week and all kidding aside, it’s great to know that a band of brothers is gonna be there. Half of Posh showed up. Apparently he lost the other half. Way to go brotha. Bleeder has gone full Von Trapp and it’s a solid look. Swiper had a great quote today from current marathon world record holder who is also chasing the elusive sub 2 hour marathon mark, Eliud Kipchoge.

“The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time to plant a tree is now.”