F3RVA
Always 70 and Sunny
F3RVA
Always 70 and Sunny

BRR 2017: One First After Another

21

22 runners and a pit crew of 5 took a giant step forward to tackle this year’s 208 mile trek from Grayson Highlands VA to Asheville NC.  With an abundance of accomplishments and stories too extensive to capture here, enclosed is a “brief” summary of what transpired over the event. YHC will leave it up to the PAX to weigh-in on any omissions, distortions of truth, or dispel any unfounded rumors regarding one’s ability to keep a van upright on a dark country road…

Acknowledgements and Accomplishments:

  • A sincere and hearty thanks to Bleeder, Swirly, and TYA for your end-to-end arrangement of this year’s BRR.  Logistics, equipment, and accommodations were outstanding.  The PAX thanks you all for your extensive effort in pulling this together VA…it just gets better every year
  • Thanks to all the runners who managed to exceed expectations.  Elevation changes make this a beast of a race, and ALL participants truly crushed-it.
  • Extended thanks to the drivers and logistics team:  Viral (driving lead), Marmaduke, Loose Goose, Flipper (logistics), and Saab**.  Viral was truly the lead driver and resident-concierge. Flipper prepared the house and made breakfast for the early arrivals and also put in overtime helping to heal hurt joints by bringing Holland Chiropractic to Asheville.
  • Thanks to Wilson and Circle K who were on top of preparing a damn fine dinner for all the PAX Saturday evening. Despite being awake for 40 hours you guys were on top of it.
  • Welcome and thanks to some Superior runners who stepped-in last minute to fill some open seats:
    • Kevin (who shall be named):  The guy who looked like a kid at Christmas both before and after each run – all of which he truly nailed.
    • Ronaldo:  The “Scotty” of RVA Graphics, who makes the Corporate vans the envy of other F3 regions.
    • Swallow (birth name Sparrow):  Formerly named Scissorhands (nevermore), who fully embraced his new handle with great humor and enthusiasm…our kind of PAX.

Results:

  • This year’s race involved a head to head between two teams starting at 5:30 am.  Team 1 (F3 Corporate LLC) finished in 30:50:46, while team 2 (F3 Corporate INC) completed the route in 31:43:30.  For those history buffs, prior year times were as follows:
    • 2016:  12 man team (32:55) and 9 man team (29:16)
    • 2015:  12 man team (32:16)

Moleskin

It would be impossible to capture every that occurred over a 3-day event that involved travel to a quiet country inn in Southwestern VA, a relay consisting of 22 PAX spread across 4 vans, and a stay-over at a terrific mountain house to recover and celebrate.  As such, enclosed in no particular order is just a brief list of observations, experiences, and (humorous) incidents…participating PAX are at license to supplement as needed.

  • With a supply of Swedish Fish and pink frosting, one can make a confection depicting the female anatomy …who knew?
  • On a similar subject, inflatable vulvas appear to be all the rage this year…although it took some effort to get them prepared for active use.
  • Lost and Found:  Viral discovered a black thong while cleaning out his van.  Will the owning PAX please claim the lost article of clothing before Viral decides to keep it for himself.
  • When staying in a rural hotel, it is best not to keep one’s door open while watching a ball game, lest it attract a violent and unstable meth-head by the name of Bully who will punch himself in the face repeatedly once asked to leave.
  • Swirly does not like when playtime is over and has no patience for those retiring early. Swirly also likes his Bag Balm…Had we known it was his birthday we would have ordered him a gallon jar.
  • On the subject of Bag Balm, one needs to be cautious when approaching the van or they may catch a full-frontal view of said-product being applied to one’s nether-region, or perhaps witness a PAX member urinating in a clear plastic bottle (one with a wide-mouth opening of course)
  • Viral won the award for most attentive driver. After one PAX muttered his desire for coffee, Viral was at the local department store purchasing a high-dollar camp stove. Upon discovery by another PAX who did not want to subsidize such a purchase, he was promptly sent to the store’s return-desk.
  • There are many other tales of Viral’s attentiveness to runners including offering massages. At one point it was questioned to what lengths he would go to assist others no matter how unpleasant…none of which can be repeated here. (Note: you can ask Honeydo to demonstrate…it will be worth it.)
  • In the pre-dawn hours, when a passing female asks if she could “choke the chicken” that was crowing in the background, one should consult urban dictionary before responding.
  • According to Circle K, you don’t need a GPS as long as you are heading either North or South, have Jalapeno Tostidos, and only TWO cold beers (36oz of course).
  • Interactions with locals were varied, as Lug Nut reported a number of late night run-ins including a pack of hunting dogs, a man on a porch who yelled “go home”, and another who informed him that “planting his corn early” would be in his best interest. All the while Lug Nut maintained his cool and friendly demeanor.
  • After an opposing van provided Lola first-aid during his run, someone briefly muttered that the team be subject to a 5 minute penalty. Viral, who is passionate about helping out, jumped up and began walking toward the race officials…he was quickly called-back.
  • Rosie’s arsenal of leg rollers resembled marital aids that would make a female passer-by blush.

That concludes all the items YHC can recall or speak to first hand**. The remaining abbreviated list is for the PAX to comment and elaborate on as they so choose…

  • TYA’s acumen for predicting finish times of each runner, yet somehow managing departure that was 45 minutes late.  Screaming “Channel the Zebra” (cake)..Abacus.  Gomer Pyle’s way with women.  Circle K buying a used pillow from an antique store (because…why not).  After Abacus demonstrates his elaborate method for removing a bottle cap, Offshore casually pointing out the beer is a twist-off.   Keen identification of “Pace Cars” at legs 31 and 32 (Trophy chasing them down).  Enough with the chocolate milk already! Flatline gets lost.  Police cars flying through Bakersfield and nearly killing the runners.

**Alas, let’s not forget Saab running the van off the road and nearly rolling it down an embankment in the pre-dawn hours between legs one and two.  Passengers did not realize how steep the embankment was until EF Hutton jumped out the side door and practically disappeared.  Once all runners were loaded into a van full of ladies who had stopped to help (you’re welcome guys), Saab and TYA awaited assistance.  When an F3 van from another region approached they inquired which city we were from, without hesitation Saab proudly stated “Charlotte!”.  It was after that time our savior Charles Young appeared out of the mist.  After instructing Saab to get in the van and be sure to buckle up (in case the van were to roll down the embankment), the van was pulled out of its precarious position…all the while TYA was smiling and filming the entire event.  As Saab put the van in drive he turned to TYA and said “you were right…it was worth it”.

And so Saab has solidified his place in F3RVA lore and established a virtual guarantee he will never be asked to drive in a relay again (or let’s hope so).

Saab abides

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One who abides and is prone to sophomoric and juvenile humor.

21 Comments

  1. Kudos again to TYA, Bleeder, and everyone else that make this the best BRR yet. How lucky am I to witness the year 1 Bakersville meltdown and then be in the stuck van in year 3. What a blast!

  2. I have to say RUNNING SUCKS, but this group of men do not. You are ALL the reason I chose and likely will continue to choose to run this relay! Saab is right. There are MANY stories and some will come out with giggles in the gloom. My vote for the naming of Kevin in Ralphie (from that Christmas movie) Someone can call it out. Can’t remember. Circle K and I will plan the food better (quantity and selection) next year as we are the team in the kitchen. Thanks bro. I’d have no one else take the helm of the grill! Thank you to the fellas who put the three stickers on the van. Constant reminder I should not take a dump with a clown while being chased by a bear! From the anticipation on the ride to the hotel to the long ride home, I would have had it no other way……………well maybe! #runningsucks

  3. Hall of Fame BB Saab! Big thanks to Bleeder, TYA, Swirly and the host of others who made this epic event possible. I was able to meet and hang with members of the PAX I rarely get a chance to see. Still believe Wilson was responsible for the mountainess reroute on leg 19, should have added more clowns, bears, and porta potty’ s. How big do Christmas Trees get? Flip flop league Champs with Offshore & Marmaduke! Highlight was running (ever so slowly) into exchange zone 30 with all the PAX cheering me on, a moment I will never forget. Awesome Weekend! Thanks

  4. My sincere appreciation to TYA, Bleeder, Swirly, and all participants of 2017 BRR. Epic, super, and awesome are just a few words to describe this event and what it means to me!! I will especially remember Team 1, Van 2. Abicus and his salt bath. Lola cramping up and than finishing Glory Leg like a beast. Swiper hammering 4 relay runs and Wedding Singer killing leg 31. Shout out to Marmaduke for transporting us around and back to RVA and always having a bottled water ready when we finished.
    I am blessed to have this experience and all F3 RVA PAX members in my life. You make me a better person!
    If you have not run the BRR, you should, PERIOD!
    My parting memory–every seen a man with a dolphin tramp stamp, I have!! I mean really….
    LOUD and PROUD,
    Flatline
    P.S-I was just turned around, not lost!

  5. Epic event gents. Thanks to all who made it happen.

    OBT said something about Bleeder stacking a team – not sure which one – we need to tell him that the strategy is to have both teams finish with a PB.

    LOLA and FNG Kevin deserve more finish line pagentry to go with their glory. 3 claps to all fourth leg runners. Mile 22 was tough.

    For the record, I told viral that I would bring the stove next year for some Ranger coffee but if they had something cheap like a heat tab or some C4 we would be good. Its well known that C4 will burn without exploding and we were in West NC. On the whole I apologize again for so many truly interesting army stories.

    I don’t know how it happens. I heard that CLT FiA is going to be at DogPile this Sat for YHC Q if they can EH 3 of their pax to pump and dump while on their i85 Shakira sing along. Amazing.

    We are truly fortunate to engage in CSAUP and seek optimizated self actualization while so many in the world are seeking Maslow’s physiological level at the moment. Pray for them.

    One final note. my 2.0 talked me into a 45 min run Sunday afternoon to loosen up. We ran 5 miles and I am feeling good Guess which 15 yo FNG s coming to DogPile Sat.

  6. That is a first-class backblast, Saab. I move to rename you “James Joyce.” Thanks to TYA and Bleeder for organizing, all of the drivers (especially Viral who did, in fact, offer to give back rubs), and all others who contributed support. It was a great weekend at BRR.

  7. Fantastic time. Thanks to the guys that helped talk me into going and the guys that agreed to have me along. TYA, Bleeder, Swirly – like everyone has said, your planning and execution were phenomenal.

    I feel proud to be part of the 27 guys that went out there and got it done and privileged to spend time with you men. The positive attitudes, support, and teamwork were admirable. This was an epic experience that I will cherish. I might even do it again.

    Viral was great but I did think he forgot to go to the EZ at one point (he went around) I was so worried that I texted him from my run – lol I was happy to see him and the PAX waiting at 18 when I got there.

    Great backblast Saab

  8. I feel like if I post in this backblast, I’m acknowledging the race is officially over, which saddens me. Big thank you to TYA, Bleeder, Swirly and anyone else with hands in logistics. Your effort and expertise truly makes the experience as memorable as it can be. To the drivers, especially our own DUKE, such a positive and solid dude. Our van was electric with spirit and inspiration (or was it perspiration?) the entire 30 hours. Also thanks to Flipdog, Circle and Wilson for their contributions to the group.

    Great write-up Saab. There were a lot of things fresh in the memory from the race. Team 1 van 2 – Swiper cruising down leg 1 with a 6:30 mile, Flatline crushing not one major mountain but two, with the latter being #33, Abacus being Abacus (see salt bath, creek bath, chocolate milk, falling on tables after runs, etc.) but absolutely flying on his legs, Sparrow holding off Rosie in his third leg when the race was tight (sorry I can’t yell Swallows out loud at the EZs so I’m going with Sparrow, hope he joins more of F3 outings), he was psyched after that one, Wilson’s route change on #19 I think, where a 5 mile downhill run turned into a 6 mile with a small mountain in the middle, and he cruised through it all, and Lola for stepping up to the plate big time to finish the last leg.

    All in all, I think it’s the camaraderie among the runners, bearing all of the elements and mental anguish of the race, that I’ll remember the most. Everyone supporting and rooting on their fellow competitors. A simple bang on the side of van or a ‘keep it up’ from a stranger as wheels go rolling by while you’re digging out 1500 feet of elevation through switchbacks. That’s the stuff, true salt of the earth human spirit, hidden from the daily jive. But I know where to find a little of it now. See you next year BRR.

  9. What an amazing weekend and a great BB to recap it Saab. After I passed Saab and TYA in the ditch I was thinking about what I would do if the van wasn’t there at the end of the leg but I honestly wasn’t worried. I knew between TYA, Bleeder, the rest of our team plus countless other great teams on the course it would work out.
    Tclaps to Lola for gutting it out after Leg 2, you just weren’t used to the pain. Now you know there are so many more things you can do if you just push yourself and have the support of so many others. Everyone was able to do the same thing knowing you had your brothers on the course backing you up.
    Looking forward to Kevin’s first post. It’s not often we have so much information to mine in naming a new PAX.

  10. Great BB Saab. Your writing skills are definitely better than your driving skills. Just kidding (sort of).

    What a great weekend. It is an honor to be associated with a great group of men that push you to your limits, all while supporting the runners to the finish line. Hanging out with everybody with a coldbeer, especially at the grill, is the perfect way to wrap up the day.

    I am glad Swirly finally made the pass through the middle of the life vest, we may have had to leave him at the house because he was not going to quit until he successfully completed the pass.

    Thanks to TYA, Bleeder and Swirly for all the work that went in to the planning.

  11. It’s amazing the memories you can make when you keep your mouth shut and take it all in, but also glad there are guys that aren’t that way and keep things interesting. Thankful for the challenge, the laughs, the near-death experiences, cleanish porta potties, the camaraderie, the views (mountains and tomatoes and tomatoes with mountains), the fellowship, the inspiration, the support, the chance to be a human Tron, not being eaten by a bear, an ice-cold pool, col’ beers, old friends, new friends, and bag balm.

    Special thanks to those that made this happen. You know who you are. Can’t thank you enough.

    Team 2, we ain’t losing next year. If that means giving Offshore the Nancy Kerrigan treatment, so be it. Clearly Team 1 is not above cheating.

  12. Like Singer said I can’t believe it’s over! There’s nothing like waiting around telling stories at EZ30 in the fog and mist of the pre-dawn list and seeing some massive mountains peek out from the clouds as you laugh and drink bad church coffee. Somehow it’s the best cup of coffee you’ve ever tasted and I know it has nothing to do with the beans.

    What a privilege it is to be a driver and watch you guys run your hearts out over some of the biggest and baddest hills I’ve ever seen. Even the “easiest” legs were hard and I’m proud of each and every runner for gutting through some rough terrain.

    Thanks for the kudos, but for the record I watched Duke & Goose completely outdo me in taking care of their guys. Well done to them! Saab? Well … you know …

  13. What an awesome time, gents! I’m blessed to have been part of that, even as a mere driver. It was incredibly inspiring to be next to and see the work the runners put in, gritting your teeth through pain, exhaustion, and other forms of “suck” to git ‘er done. Thanks to Team 2 for making me feel fully part of the team, and as I told M Goose when I got home — the teamwork and camaraderie this experience requires/provides is something I haven’t been part of in quite a long time. I was bummed that injury kept me from continuing to train & run, but being there made me the guy in that video — now I’m even more determined to be ready for next year.

    (More) Special thanks to Bleeder & TYA for your incredible preparation, and to Viral as well for the same for the drivers — you all really set us up for success, all we had to do was execute, and that’s what great Q’s do. Wilson & Circle K – kudos on the food. Flip – thanks for hauling all of that down there and having it ready for us. You must have cooked bacon for 2 hrs straight.

  14. I’ll echo everyone else in offering a heartfelt thank you to TYA, Bleeder and Swirly for all the work they put in to organize this event. Also, a big thank you to Wilson and Circle K for the good eats and to Flipper for setting up the house. F3RVA is represented by a great group of men and I feel privileged to be a part of it.

    Congrats to team 1 on the victory but don’t count on a repeat next year. Team 2 will be looking for revenge. Also, it was pretty cool seeing actual mountain goats on my mountain goat although I may have been hallucinating from the never-ending climb. Kevin, you’re fast. Renaldo, you are too. Rosie, you’re a beast (as are all the guys that ran 4 legs). I want to be TYA and run shirtless in neon yellow compression socks and short-shorts.

    It was great spending time and getting to know a bunch of you guys that I hadn’t really known before. A big thank you to the drivers, you guys were fantastic and this thing runs smooth in large part to all of your hard work.

    The post race QB exhibition (thanks Swirly) and the flip flop basketball league was a great way to cap off the weekend. I had a tremendous time and I’m thankful I was able to be a part of it.

    Trophy

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