Always 70 and Sunny
Always 70 and Sunny

Kettlebell Deck of Death at CircusMaximuis


Ten towering redwoods posted to CircusMaxims this morning with kettlebells in hand, two of which are F3 veterans but newcomers to CircusMaximus. It was wet and warm out, but not raining. Johnsonville (YHC) took the Q, and this is how it went down, more or less.

speedy warmup: ssh, scissor lunges, arm circles

Deck of Death —

Aces — 50 mountain climbers or 50 LBCs (amended after 2 rounds to 100 LBCs since 50 mountain climbers is 300% harder than Lame-O LBCs)
Hearts (garden variety) — Merkin (kettlebell) Row
Hearts (face cards) — 10 plank walks with jump
Diamonds (garden variety) — Single Arm Swings (1 per arm per value on card)
Diamonds (face cards) — 10 burpees
Spades (garden variety) — Goblet Kettlebell Squat Press
Spades (face cards) — 10 jump lunges
Clubs (garden variety) — Sit up with Kettlebell Press
clubs (face cards) — 10 crab cakes

It is hard to get through a deck in 45 minutes. Thus, we had almost no downtime.

For some reason, we only did 10 crab cakes. I know there were 52 cards, so we must of doubled or tripled up on some other things. Q’s brain don’t function too good sometimes.

Rosie finished many sequences first even though he was swinging a big KB… show-off. Offshore had flashing lights on his shoes (psychedelic man) and a brand spanking new Christmas-gift-looking gray kettlebell. He and KevinBacon are the CircusMaximus newcomers. They rocked it, and it was great having them out (if for no other reason, so Offshore can optimize some processes and other shi** and so KevinBacon can keep you up to speed on the status of your past classmates and distant relatives).

HoneyDo quietly took care of business, and had to roll immediately after. Gumbo seemed to want more mericans than was on order. WhiteDeer appeared quiet to YHC (who was fairly busy trying to flip cards and translate them into exercises); others say he was his normal chatty self. Stay gold, Ponyboy.

FlipPhone arrived late, but that is ok since he came from ChurchHill. Earthworm was with us, but did an alternative exercise for nearly everything. That is better than an FS.

YHC faced a verbal assault when be tried to describe what cards signified what exercises. Apparently, this PAX does not accept any level of complexity. YHC stopped to allow the assault to subside, and DK hilariously asked if YHC was having a “Wilson moment.” Those who have seen Wilson react to unexpected events during a Q know what that means… Anyhoo, it was quite funny and delivered with DK’s lightning-fast wit. We do love you, Wilson.

It was hard to follow Toga’s Q from the prior week, where here brought out a mixture of jiu jitsu, acrobatics, and Michelangelo painting The Last Judgment. But, I did what I could. Thanks for permitting me to lead — it was a pleasure.



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  1. Great Q and great BB Jville. So, remind me, cards 3-6 meant what? and 7-10? No wonder our Face cards got a little out of whack. Pretty sure we did some extra burpees and maybe some extra plank-walk-jumps (those kind of suck — deceptive).

    It was all-business, that’s for sure. Great to have double-digit PAX at the Circus. Great work guys.

  2. That 45 min flew by. I agree the plank walks suck way more than the look like. Glad to have Ribwich and Offshore out at CM.

  3. Happy to see some new faces at CM. I was still getting over Toga’s acrobatics from last week so I was happy to do some familiar KB exercises. Nice work Jville.

  4. Nice Q Jville! Loved my first experience at CM and plan to make this a part of my F3 rotation.

    Thanks to Rosie for helping me on my form on the arm swings. Glad I could work that out before exposing my kettle bell flaws to Toga.

    Also, I officially have an identity challenge as I no longer know what to call myself.

    Til next time.

    Kevin Bacon McRibwich

  5. Thanks Jville. I’m not that sore today, which means the forecast for tomorrow is some debilitating second-day soreness. Great to see several of the West End Boys yesterday.