Napoleon lunged for power, and so did the Pax

The Pax gathered for a workout of Napoleonic proportions.

Warmup began with helicopters, Don Quixotes, 34 SSHs for the age at which Napoleon became emperor, Imperial Walkers for his august apex, and Hillbillies for his humble origins. Napoleon’s father was an impoverished minor nobleman who gambled away what little he had, so we did 34 LBCs for the hunger the family experienced.

Skipping up to the French Revolution, we celebrated Napoleon’s quick crossing of the Alps and conquest of Italy by running south down Westmorland to the soccer fields, stopping at each oak tree for a round of 20 2-count Mountain Climbers. Napoleon’s next adventure was his invasion of Egypt. The Pax lined up single file for Walk Like An Egyptian-everyone went into a deep lunge and held it while the last Pax member in line raced to the front, taking a step forward and switching legs as each runner finished,

The ladies of F3 paid their respects to the newly crowned Emperor of the French with curtsy lunges–leap to your right, land on your right leg and cross the left leg behind, going into a deep lunge, then switch sides.

Two sets of 20 burpees for the incessant grinding of war over the next decade.

Gathering on one side of the soccer fields as the 450,000-strong Grande Armée, we stormed towards Moscow lunging across half the field, stopping for 10 burpees, then running the rest of the way. Moscow, however, was burned by the retreating Russians and we suffered starvation. Our stomachs ached as we worked through Elbow Plank Hold, Flutter Kicks, Plank Shoulder Taps, Alabama Prom Dates, and some other exercises. When it was time for the French to flee Russia, the Pax partnered up.  The first partner (the fleeing French) ran across the entire length of the field, the doubling back to tag their partner. The second partner (the avenging Russians) pursued across the field Polar Bear Crawl style. Partners continued to switch roles until everyone made is across the Rhine. Only 40,000 of the Grande Armée actually made it back.

Running short on time, we returned to the flag and only got in 50 SSHs to commemorate Napoleon’s last 100 days of freedom before Waterloo. Then, in gratitude that in America we never had to put up with short imperial dictators, the Pax cheerfully counted 34 American Hammers, followed by Child’s Pose and Cobra Pose because YHC’s back was done at this point.

Swirly took us out.